I recently looked in the mirror and was a bit disturbed by what I saw. Was it the angle of the lighting that was casting a shadow under my eyes, or was it just my face? Turns out it’s just the angles on my face.
Needless to say, there will be no selfies unless I decide to bring my A-game.
There are years to go before you need to start taking “Over the Hill” birthday cards seriously, but here are some signs of aging:
1. It’s no longer funny or cool to get the following question after returning to the office on Monday, “Too much partying over the weekend?” (especially if you’ve spent your Sunday at home vegetating and recharging)
2. It’s irritating to get the greeting, “You look tired.”
3. Gone are the days of dying your hair for a ‘new look’. You dye your hair for functional reasons, to cover grey hair.
4. Be thankful for baby hairs…because you may actually need them.
5. You prefer drinking warm or hot water vs. cold water.
6. Drinking red wine makes you want to pass out.
8. The thought of going out after 11pm makes you want to pass out.
9. It’s a huge relief to be seated at a concert.
10. You rely a bit too much on The Automatic Workout: getting groceries on top or lower shelves (stretching), carrying heavy groceries (toning), running to the subway station (cardio).
11. Wearing high heels is considered a form of working out.
12. You realize finding a pair of comfy shoes that’s considered respectable to wear at work is as easy as finding the perfect guy.
13. Gone is the need for contraception when there’s aging. (Yes! I went there!)
14. When lame pick-up lines are actually seen as compliments:
Homeless man to me: Hey Japan! I’ve seen you from somewhere! #stillgotit
Picked up by a 70-yr old over the wknd. Teen reaction: “Ew!”, 20s reaction: “Ew!”, 30s reaction: “Still got it!” #stillgotit
15. A new fashion trend includes rude sayings or words in LARGE FONT on sweatshirts. This makes you viscerally angry.
16. You realize why animal print pattern on clothing is synonymous with ‘Cougars’. The same reason for #3: for functional reasons.
17. When this kind of thing actually crosses your mind as a back-up plan for your 40s.