The 7 C’s of Compatibility

“A relationship will eventually turn love inside out. And the test is whether you can love from both sides.” – Terri Guillemets, “The next day,” 1989

I’m not a relationship expert.  Admittedly, I have mastered the art of breaking up.

After a number of failed relationships, I pulled together a list of traits that I feel make up compatibility. These traits fall into seven buckets, which I call “The 7 C’s of Compatibility”.

How you and a partner rate each other based on these traits make up a Compatibility Index. This is my attempt to use logic to assess or justify a breakup (for those of you who are feeling restless and uncertain), but more importantly, for couples to be able to understand and strengthen their relationships. Perception doesn’t necessarily mirror reality, so hopefully this tool can help put things into perspective from both sides.

Here are the 7 C’s in no particular order:

• Communication
• Chemistry
• Commitment
• Care
• Challenge
• Compromise
• Consistency

1) Indicate the importance of each trait on a scale of 1 to 5. (1=least, 5=most)
2) Rate your partner out of 5 on each trait. (1=weak, 5=strong)
3) Multiply your weighting with each of the 7 ratings.
4) Add up each number for your final score.
5) Compare your score with your partner’s and discuss them. It’s important to take a positive approach vs. playing the blame game. If you’ve recently gone through a breakup or you’re contemplating a breakup, you can also do this exercise to gain perspective. You can even re-evaluate previous relationships.

Anything missing? Any questions? Any shockers? Open to expanding or contracting this list.

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